


Bleh, Bleh, Bleh

by Insomnia_Productions



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell, 終わりのセラフ | Owari no Seraph | Seraph of the End
Genre: Gen, and a lot of talking, and chicken nuggets, and dorks bonding over their idiot friends, and it's unfair, baz and mika are so done, featuring sour cherry scones, mika is like 60 percent more vampire than baz is, penny and shinoa are also very done, simon and yuu are fuckin dorks, they meet at the cinema
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-09
Updated: 2016-03-09
Packaged: 2018-05-25 16:14:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6202213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Insomnia_Productions/pseuds/Insomnia_Productions
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The theater is quiet as the last credits for Hotel Transylvania scroll up the screen. On opposite sides of an otherwise empty row, two mouths open, letting in a slight breath as they prepare to voice the infamous phrase, a simple three-time repetition of one annoying word.</p>
<p>Before they can, two exasperated voices sound out in unison: “Don’t you fucking dare.”</p>
<p>Two heads turn. From across the hall, grey eyes meet crimson red.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Carry On trio meet the Owari no Seraph trio.<br/>Complaining ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bleh, Bleh, Bleh

The theater is quiet as the last credits for  _ Hotel Transylvania  _ scroll up the screen. On opposite sides of an otherwise empty row, two mouths open, letting in a slight breath as they prepare to voice the infamous phrase, a simple three-time repetition of one annoying word. 

Before they can, two exasperated voices sound out in unison: “Don’t you fucking dare.” 

Two heads turn. From across the hall, grey eyes meet crimson red. 

.

Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch smirks. 

Mikaela Hyakuya smiles. 

. 

“—And he actually asked if I could turn into a  _ bat _ !” 

Mika smiles again, sympathetically now, as Baz recounts his experiences with his human boyfriend, Simon. 

“Yuu-chan asked me that, once. And once, I was talking to him for about ten minutes before he stopped me and asked for me to repeat everything. He said he hadn’t been listening to a word I’d just said because he’d been too busy staring at my fangs.” 

Baz hums. “Simon said that my voice sounds cute when my fangs are out, and asked to touch them.” 

Mika laughs, then hesitates. “Out? Yours are retractable?” 

“Yeah, they only really come out when I eat.” 

Mika considers. “Hm. You… were eating popcorn earlier, weren’t you?” 

“Yes.” 

Mika sighs wistfully. “Lucky. I can’t eat normal food anymore.” 

“It’s not like I can survive on it,” Baz explains. “I also need blood. Usually rats, but sometimes I go for larger game, like deer. Mostly rodents, though.” 

Mika stares at him. “Y-you can do that? I can only have human blood…” 

“Really? How do you manage?” 

“Yuu-chan… and his friends. They give me small… donations, of sorts. And I hold out for as long as I can to make sure they don’t lose too much.” He flushes guiltily. “It’s very kind of them.” 

“They sound like good people.” He thinks for a moment. “So. Do you… age?” 

Mika’s eyes close slowly, and that’s answer enough. The two lapse into silence. Then—

“Yuu-chan grew wings once. Three times, actually.” 

Baz grins, and the tension breaks. “Simon did, too. He still has them, but we use a spell to hide them.” He sighs. “Honestly, he’s such a hopeless case. Sometimes I wonder why I ever fell for him.” 

Mika shrugs. “Because he’s a hopeless case.” 

“Mm, you may be onto something.” Baz pauses. “I loved him for three years before he realized.” 

Mika snorts. “Psh, that’s nothing. I loved Yuu-chan for more than eight years, and he never suspected a thing. And didn’t you say you acted like you hated him?” 

“...Yes…” 

“Well, I didn’t. I literally asked him to run away with me, twice, and I was always extra kind to him… I even sacrificed myself for him, once. I took care of him and starved myself for four years because I was scared of losing him… and then when he asked me to throw all of that effort away for him, I  _ did _ . And that’s just a  _ fraction  _ of it all.” Mika huffs. “And the idiot didn’t even realize that I loved him until I actually kissed him.” 

“Hm.” Baz leans back. “How did that go for you?” 

“Oh. Well.” Mika laughs. “He’d turned into a seraph… human experimentation, you see… and he was about to kill everyone and, well, the first time it happened, Shinoa hugged him to get him out of it, but that wasn’t working this time so… I just… kissed him. And it worked.” 

Baz whistles. “That’s really something.” 

“How about you, then?” 

“Oh… I kind of… set a forest on fire… and tried to kill myself… and he came and tried to get me to leave and I didn’t want to and he kissed me. He was really confused about it afterwards, but… things worked out, I guess.” 

Mika grins, leaning back alongside him. “Nice.” 

. 

A little way down the hill from where Baz and Mika lie, Simon and Yuu stretch out on the grass, gazing up at the clouds. 

“So, you’re the Chosen One, too, huh?” Simon ventures. 

Yuu flushes. “Ah… yeah, kind of. Didn’t really work out, though.” 

“I feel you, bro.” 

There is silence. 

“...And your boyfriend’s also a moody vampire.” 

“Yeah.” Simon pauses. “Doesn’t turn into a bat, though, unfortunately.” 

“Mm. Mika doesn’t, either. I feel cheated, to be honest.” 

“Same.” 

Yuu thinks for a moment. “His fangs are really cute though. You can just see them when he talks. It’s really distracting.” 

“I know, right?” Simon laughs. “Baz’s voice sounds different when his fangs are out, and it’s really fricking adorable.” 

“Everything about Mika is adorable. Even though he’s not as cutesy as he was when we were kids.” He considers. “Was Baz ever… like Mika used to be?” 

Simon shrugs. “Dunno. I only met him after…” His eyes widen. “But—oh my god, now I’m picturing it… oh my god… oh. My god.” 

He closes his eyes, and Yuu closes his, too, both completely blissed out on the idea of their boyfriends as cheerful kids. 

And then Simon breaks the silence. 

“I have wings. And a tail.” 

“I have wings, too! Not a tail, though,” Yuu adds wistfully. 

Simon shudders. “Lucky.” There is a pause. “Hey, you want to get some sour cherry scones?” 

Yuu’s nose scrunches up. “What’re sour cherry scones?” 

“Oh, man, I am going to introduce you to the start of the rest of your life,” Simon beams, standing up and offering Yuu his hand. “Let’s go.” 

Yuu takes his hand and grins. “Sure. But, first, may I ask you—have you been introduced to the beautiful godsend that is chicken nuggets?” 

“I’ll trade you nuggets for scones.” 

“You have yourself a deal, my friend.” 

And they’re off. 

. 

In a cafe nearby, two shining eyes trail down from where Mika and Baz lie on the hill, briefly flickering to the sight of Yuu and Simon hurrying down the street, before rising again to meet each other. 

Shinoa Hiragi smirks. 

“Looks like they’re really hitting it off.” 

Penelope Bunce nods slowly, taking a sip of hot chocolate. “No kidding.” She sighs. “Honestly, if only it could have been this easy to bring Simon and Baz together…” 

Shinoa rolls her eyes. “Ugh, tell me about it. It was so obvious that Mika liked Yuu… and Yuu clearly liked him, too, even said his name in his sleep… but, of course, that idiot never realized it.” 

Penny giggles slightly, leaning forward. “You want to talk about idiots? Simon obsessed over Baz… it was like talking to the Mad Hatter about tea. He’d talk about how much he hated Baz and how Baz was the most beautiful person he’d ever seen, all in the same breath. And when Baz didn’t come back to school in our seventh year, he was constantly fretting over where he could be, so much that he didn’t sleep for weeks just because he spent all his nights wandering the school, waiting for him and searching for him… and then he’d turn around and tell me under no uncertain terms that Baz was completely evil and he hated him and he was much happier now that Baz was gone.” She heaves a long-suffering sigh. “And then he kissed him, and the next thing you know it’s all  _ Baz is so perfect  _ and  _ Baz is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me _ . What even?” 

Shinoa shudders. “Wow. I am so sorry.”

Penny shrugs it off. “Nah, it’s fine. Simon’s my best friend, so I guess I don’t mind listening to all his tangents. And Baz is great conversation, so long as Simon isn’t mentioned.” She pauses. “Although… and I know I have a fairly small limit to how many friendships I can maintain… but I sometimes wish … I mean, babysitting two idiotic gay dorks is hard work, you know? Sometimes I just wish I had someone to vent to, someone who would understand.” 

Shinoa grins and places her cell phone on the table. “Sister, you’ve  _ found  _ her.” 

.

**Three Years Later**

Mika looks up as his phone buzzes with a text. 

_ From: Baz _

_ Mika—Simon says he and Yuu and Shinoa and Penny are inviting us to a movie. Something about supernatural appreciation…? I don’t know.  _

Mika frowns and types out a reply. 

_ From: Mika _

_ So I’ve heard. What about it?  _

_ From: Baz _

_ Don’t you feel like something’s up?  _

 

_ From: Mika _

_...You may have a point. Shall we take our chances?  _

 

_ From: Baz _

_ Sure. I’ll see you tomorrow, then.  _

 

_ From: Mika:  _

_ See you.  _

.

The next day, Mika and Baz exchange a look of pure horror as the blindfolds are lifted and the bright title of  _ Hotel Transylvania 2  _ appears on the screen. 

**Author's Note:**

> I just really really really want a brotp between Baz and Mika, Simon and Yuu, and Penny and Shinoa 
> 
> I mean 
> 
> Can you imagine 
> 
> They're so alike it's uncanny


End file.
